No More Broken Wings

I know it has been several months since I have posted anything and much of that is the direct result of our abuser. Emily has been through some very rough times in the last few months. But I truly believe I gave her the strength of thousands even in her weakest moments. If we could just get her to see her own strengths.

Now I promised from the first post I would share more of our lives with you. The further I get into our story, the more apparent it will be who I truly am. And with that we will be revealed. But I do believe that time will come when it is right. When it is meant to be.

If you have been coming here you know my pen name is Annie and will remain Annie until that time is right. I want to tell you a little more about me. A little more about why I had broken wings. Why I have tried so hard to heal those broken wings so I can fly again. Why I feel I am so close to flying again. But to know all this we must go back to the beginning.

I come from a very large family and even as dysfunctional as we were I knew we were all loved. My mother and father loved me the best the knew how to love me and my siblings. But they both had their own issues they brought to the marriage, they both had their strengths and their weaknesses.

I remember so much of both of them and this post I will start sharing my father with you. He could so strict and so mean. But he could be so protective at the same time. I remember well a time when I was in grade school and we were going to church and I caught another student breaking the school rules. I proceeded to tell that student how bad it was what they were doing and where they would go if they did not stop doing it. Because after all that is what the church taught us. Everyone who did not repent their evil deeds and thoughts would go straight to hell. I was nearly punished at school for that offense and my father swooped in and rescued me.

I can remember those events where he was the loving and protective father. But I can also remember the horrible events where I was scared to death. Where I cowered in a closet or under my bed. Where I cleaned up the vomit. But that is for another post. We must not rush this. Rome was not built in a day. So my song for today is Concrete Angel. Because that was the start of the pain behind the mask. That was when I started building these walls that most find it impossible to tear down.



She walks to school with the lunch she packed
Nobody knows what she's holding back
Wearing the same dress she wore yesterday
She hides the bruises with the linen and lace, oh

The teacher wonders but she doesn't ask
It's hard to see the pain behind the mask
Bearing the burden of a secret storm
Sometimes she wishes she was never born

Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place
Where she's loved concrete angel

Somebody cries in the middle of the night
The neighbors hear but they turn out the light
A fragile soul caught in the hands of fate
When morning comes it will be too late

Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place
Where she's loved concrete angel

A statue stands in a shaded place
An angel girl with an upturned face
A name is written on a polished rock
A broken heart that the world forgot

Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place
Where she's loved concrete angel

Labels: About Me, Abuse, Annie, Concrete Angel, Fear, Freedom, Martina McBride, Music, Siblings, Songs Free Us