No More Broken Wings

Even though this song is very harsh, it is often the way victims feel about their abusers. I often felt this way about my father. Now comes the time to share another story about the man I called daddy, the man I alternated between love and hate.

This man was a a tyrant. This man expected better than perfection. This man was less than perfection.

I remember so much good but how can I look at the good with anything less than tears in my eyes and a pain in my chest buried deep?

This man would drink himself to oblivion. He would get angry at the smallest things. One such evening he was drunk yet again and angry. The neighbors dog was barking and making a huge racket. My father stumbled out the door with a knife so he could shut the dog up. My siblings and I were cowering because we knew if we said anything we would be the target. But how could we be silent? Our mother spoke up and just as we knew, she became the target of his rage. I do not remember if she suffered one of the many beatings she endured or not, but I know she rushed us off to bed. I woke to use the bathroom early the next morning and my father was laying in the living room in another pile of vomit. My mother sat on the couch and sent me back to bed telling me everything would be okay.

I did not understand it though. How could everything be okay? My father appeared near dead, it was early the next day, my mother had to work and she was still awake and the house smelled because of the vomit. But as promised when we woke to go to school the next day, our father was silent drinking his coffee, my mother was cooking breakfast with a smile on her face and the smell was long gone.

So I must wonder, is it because of this that I met a man like Emily's father? Is Emily destined to live this same life? Will she listen to this song and feel this way about her Daddy?



My bones are tired, Daddy
I don't get enough sleep
I don't eat as good as I could, Daddy
What's that say about me?
Sometimes I sleep past noon, Daddy
Drink lots of black coffee and I smoke like a chimney.
Yes, I left the refrigerator door half open, Daddy.
What's that say about me?
Sometimes I want to rip out your throat, Daddy
For all those things you said that were mean.
Gonna make you just as vulnerable as I was, Daddy
What's that say about me?
Sometimes I want to bash in your teeth, Daddy.
Gonna use your tongue as a stamp
Gonna rip your heart out the way you did mine, Daddy
Go ahead and psycho-analyze that.
'Cause I'm your creation, I'm your love, Daddy.
Grew up to be and do all those sick things you said I'd do
Well last night I saw you sneak out your window
With your white hood, Daddy
What's' that say about you?
I'm sloppy, what's that say about you?
I'm messy, what's that say about you?
My bones are tired, Daddy

Labels: Daddy, Jewel